Friday, November 23, 2007

not on hiatus

What part of WE GET IT is incomprehensible to Sanjay Leela Bhansali?

I've been occupied otherwise, have you noticed? With what I cannot tell you - but I will admit that my only activity of note these days has been buying vegetables for my mother, and I'm afraid my competence in that area is not yet worth a mention. [Other women go and ask, "Tamatar kaisa? Beans kaise?" and get an honest answer because they pick up the basket and start throwing the best ones in there. I go and ask "Tamatar kaisa?" and the vegetable vendor takes a sideways look at me and smiles, anticipates a windfall disproportionate to his wares because honestly, I don't know what a good vegetable looks like unless it's already cooked.]

Other than that my obsession with Bollywood has become a large, unmanageable thing: Mithun bore the brunt thereof on Wednesday night when I forced him to spend his evening watching Saawariya barely a while after a previous outing involving the equally self-involved No Smoking; my mother has been with me to see Dhamaal, Jab We Met, Loins of Punjab and Chak De India twice. And I'm sure I'm forgetting something over here.

[Saawariya is one disappointment after the other. Completely puts you off drapery. The shattering of Sonam Kapoor's grave, statuesque loveliness the minute she lets escape her tinkly THIS IS MY PRETTY ACTRESS LAUGH laugh escapes from her is akin - and I'm being kind here - to whatever finally broke Ozymandias. Ranbir Kapoor, as the heir to the legacy of the Kapoor clan that has done to Bollywood what the Bombay Times does for Indian journalism, does not disappoint, flying a full complement of vapidities as the flags of his fathers. But possibly the greatest tragedy of all was seeing Chak De India's Krishnaji reduced to a bouncer - a BOUNCER! - in this one.

When do Sanjay Leela Bhansali's complaints that people don't understand him and his work begin, incidentally? Extrapolating from past utterances I can hear the one about 'why does no one comment on the Mumtaz Mahal mural on the walls of my dream city OMG?!?!?!' already. I would like to be there to pre-empt this and other wails of angst by confirming the fact that as he no doubt suspects in his heart of hearts, our silence is compelled by kindness rather than ignorance.]

Still, into each film industry some rain must fall. As I recall it is still patronised by the mouthbreathers who did not recognise Jhoom Barabar Jhoom for the masterpiece it is. We make our own destinies.

More anon. Hope casual readers and passersby are all doing very well.


  1. ah, the lady returneth. yay!

  2. Anonymous7:33 pm

    Sups! Got to tell you I got engaged, and I hope to stop understanding people by March ;) And ya, did you JWM and Chak De?

    I totally adored JWM, and Chak De was good, I thought. I felt super patriotic and all that jazz :) Howz the you, baby?


    P.S. I could have mailed no?

  3. aha, there she is!!

    totally sympathise with the veggie ignorance btw! tho in my case the more embarrassing thing is a complete lack of knowledge of fish :-<


    ??!, hi! And Kray, you give me more and more reason to be glad that I am now vegetarian. :)

  5. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m loving how you say what you say. (And if you're not being sarcastic about JBJ, then we need to be friends, because I thought it was really quite good but no one else seems to. If you are being sarcastic, then forget what I just said.)

    PS I too am bad at vegetable-buying.

  6. Faboo comments on Saawariya, which despite all the glitter and spectacle, still managed somehow to be downright dull.

    And Sonam's giggle made me want to do her violence. It must be what tempted Ranbir to dangle her from the clocktower.

  7. Beth, Beth, Beth! Carla, Carla, Carla! Hello, lovely ladies, and welcome. Blessed is the moment that has brought us to this meeting etc.

    I was totally serious about JBJ, Beth, and here is proof of why we should indeed be frenz, maa kasam.