Wednesday, April 04, 2007

try digging yourself out of this one, greg

Ohoho. Wow. This is going to take the whole shebang apart. Just when Greg Chappell, India coach, critic and hater-at-large said a couple of things that may or may not be true but sound extremely plausible about how hard attitudes in the Indian cricket team suck and you thought the BCCI was going to get around to talking of taking note, someone rained on the snark-parade. And this isn't your snark-for-snarker Sourav Ganguly, or our perumal of belaboured dignity Rahul Dravid. No, it had to be Sachin Tendulkar.

Whether or not you would cross the street to spit on this particular stand-in for a cricket team if they were on fire, you've got to laugh. I'm part of that half of India that would worship Sachin Tendulkar whether or not he went out and scored ducks from now to eternity in every game he played, and whether or not he bullies three hundred of our best and brightest little chickens into submission in the confines of the dressing room. If he says that he's hurt, then goddamnit, those who hurt the little wonder must pay. (Why am I so fond of choking whiners?)

It's really a good thing that Greg Chappell seems as enthusiastic about staying as Sourav Ganguly staring the opportunity for a cheeky single in the face.

Having said that, I would probably pay good money to read a book full of Chappell's vitriol. It's psychologically acute, refreshing and, if not exactly oozing class, displays stark signs of an intelligence that is painfully lacking in cricket babudom.


  1. It's a bitch, this one is.
    One the one hand, you've got to agree with Greg - pampered models do not a cricketer make.
    But, you get the feeling the man talks to them like an Aussie, and that's guaranteed to rile a desi.
    Ah well, keeps the papers going.

  2. Oh btw, how deep did the knife go, with that 93:16 Bayern goal?
    I'd gloat, but I'm too busy smirking.

  3. Slowly but surely arrowing its way through my veins - I am beyond despondent. I even woke up at 3.45 to catch the second half. Gloat away, I will just lie here and weep in the filth of humiliation.

    Ahaha, also, @ the image of Greg Chappell as an Aussie Severus Snape.

  4. Hmmm....I really don't know what to make of it either. I'm one of the few people (I think anyway)who isn't on a side. I'm sitting on the fence.

  5. I don't think I care, frankly - apart from the stain on the rosy honour of Tendulkar. I'm just amazed people don't make movies of this stuff. This is such high drama.

    (Hm, sports movies are things I am always up for, actually. How about that blockbuster saga about the man who built up a football empire over two decades of blood/sweat/tears? Starring Sean Connery as Alex Ferguson, of course.)

  6. I'm always divided when it comes to sports movies (and pure sports films - unlike Lagaan, or Bend it Like...)

    Left hand side -
    Spacejam; Awwal Number; Driven; Like Mike; Rocky IV & V; Shaolin Soccer; Happy Gilmore; The Waterboy; Any Given Sunday

    Right Hand side -
    Cool Runnings; The Fan; Rocky; Raging Bull; The Color Of Money; White Men Can't Jump.


  7. Oh come on - you didn't like Shaolin Soccer? But it has kung fu AND footer. I mean ...!

    Anyway, they had a discussion on this in The Guardian (this is me being too lazy to go find the post) and obviously it was touched upon that the best sports films actually use the background of sport and its place in culture to talk about something quite different. Like Raging Bull, for example, which is primarily a character study and a biopic.

    I'm looking forward to Stephen Frears filming that novel about Brian Clough and Leeds United. I loved what he did with The Queen and I think he has exactly the right sort of vision to deal with scriptorializing real-life events.

    And the Man United film was just an excuse to shoehorn the Connery-as-Ferguson bit in. Isn't it hilarious to think about? We could have Ashton Kutcher play the lovely doomed Becks. And someone really really crap to do Gary Neville. And Johnny Depp come in as the brash young pretender to the throne, complete with salt-and-pepper hair and Portuguese accent.

    I'd suggest a calcio film, but really, nothing'd ever match up to real life.

  8. Shaolin Soccer falls into the Kung Pow school of films. So, je n'aime pas.
    But your concept is le good...hmm..
    Robbie Williams as Rooney?
    Owen Wilson as Ole?
    Robert Carlyle as Neville!

  9. Owen Wilson! Way to go. Bet he'd jump at the chance to do a Norweigan accent. Robert Carlyle is a bit too ... human, though, don't you think? We could get up some annoying CGI to represent the Neviller on screen, methinks ... too much of a stretch to find someone capable of portraying his levels of dumbassery on screen (now imagine how hard it'll be to cast for Rio Ferdinand.)

    Robbie Williams is an interesting choice. I'd have pegged even that sorry excuse for a rockstar as too cool to play Wayne Rooney. Wait a moment: am I giving away my prejudices, here?

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  11. > am I giving away my prejudices, here?
    you SO are. but then, that doesn't seem out of character.

    heheh....random word verification can be so weird....the current one is 'etpig' - That's what Queen Liz would say after a ham roast...I Et Pig. hahahah.

  12. Hush, I'm the soul of fairness. United makes my jaw drop at how well they play as a whole, annoying stepover/tantrum routines notwithstanding. And I have nothing but respect for guys like Giggs and Carrick and, why yes, Louis Saha. I would have squeed about Henrik Larsson, too, but he was like a dream in the night. Ah, well.

  13. So Greg retired....and now I wonder about Dravids fate.......
    Did you see the fan madness at the Roma Man U match?
    Owen Wilson - ewwwwwwwww

  14. No, all Ten Sports showed was the pretty gorgeously dressed young Italians cheering Roma on in the stands (more closeups of female faces than I have ever seen in a football game). The match itself was mighty fun, though - the star-crossed lovers were excellent, and Roma ended up kicking a fair bit of ass. So. Yay!

    But no, I wish this football violence would stop already. As much as it will render my life that much drearier, I wish UEFA and FIFA would just ban Italy from all competitions until this got licked into shape. Stabbing! In this day and age!

  15. Well, it's still nothing compared to the mad days of the 70s and 80s...good ol' Millwall fans eh?
    The problem stems from the root - managers routinely criticising refs, players abusing them on-pitch.
    And then, compare it to rugby. Easily the hardier sport, with seriously scary looking blokes, and yet they respectfully (meekly) follow the ref with just one whistle. And the fans are brilliant.
    Inverse correlation between the physicality of the sport, and the violence it generates?

  16. Inverse correlation between the physicality of the sport, and the violence it generates?

    Yeah, that'd explain the Great Tragedy of the Woollongabba ... oh wait, that was the Aussie bowlers taking India apart.

    (More to do with the socioeconomics of the sport? Rugby and cricket are sports for toffs, after all. And we know the bourgeoisification of the game in England has done wonders for the no-more-Heysels-and-Millwalls drive.)

  17. Rugby - game for toffs? When they both came from the same background? When its the more obvious choice for 'our big lad Kev' to take up as a career? When you need to really need to be mean enough to want to whack that 200-pounder in front of you? How is it anything but the bloodiest, roughest sport around?

  18. Of course it's more physical - but being more encouraged in public schools and played by the posh crowd it attracts a different sort of crowd? Who was it that said that football was a gentleman's game played by roughs and rugby a hooligans' sport played by gentlemen?

    Plus I believe there are sterner rules in rugby regarding contact and violence? Whereas footer wouldn't be footer unless you could bitch and moan about referee, erm, subjectivity.

  19. Hello - rugby being promoted in schools? In this day and age of paranoid health and safety? Nu-uhh. It's probably chess.
    Also, the rules are far stricter, because of the possibility of serious damage. But you still don't see players arguing about calls like in footie. And, doesn't that show the way for footie? FIFA should just say -
    right! talk back to the ref and off you go. Whinge, and that's 3 points deducted.
    ...of course, they'd first need to use TV replays for goals.

  20. TV replays in this day and age? Go away, you radical rabblerousing impurist.