Wednesday, April 18, 2007

dispatches from planet cretin

We are house-hunting again. Every classified we have read has been scrupulous in indicating that they only want tenants of ‘decent family.’ How many more generations, I wonder, before stipulations for an ideal tenant include the really important requirements, like personal hygiene? Or no screaming children? Decent families always seem possessed of screaming children, as far as I can tell. ‘Social menace’ obviously means very different things to different people.

In a bid to save ourselves the embarrassments of the last such exercise we undertook, flatmate #1 rang up the agent who took us to a house that we felt was livable-in, and asked him if they had any restrictions on their ideal tenant profile. The agent said no. #1 asked if they would object to us having friends over. The agent said no, and then amended his statement with, ‘…but no boys must come to visit.’

#1 asked, “Why can we not have boys to visit?”

The agent asked her, “Well then, how about if I came to visit?”

We hung up and crossed the house, and the agent, off our list.


  1. oyyoo.. hehehe... !!

  2. how wunnerful.

    how about neighbours complaining about -
    weird music played at odd hours?
    too many pizza deliveries?
    what decent girl works at 2am?
    she likes football??!

  3. - not possible, we're all disgustingly privileged and have iPods;
    - pizza hut is the closest we have and we never order from them unless we are gasping for carbs within a half-hour because. ick.
    - lots of decent ones must, i suppose, since indecent ones like us don't;
    - you have it nailed, my friend. those late night champions' league squealings are a certain sign of decadence.

    hi, utopia, you can rescue me any time now, kthx.

  4. anonymouse11:50 am

    Hmmm, can we say WTF?

  5. The only way to get over this incident is by ending up in a 4-bath!

  6. anonymouse10:14 pm

    You know, you could try and convince your employer to open an office in civilisation.

  7. Suppu! as some who just went through this ordeal, I suggest calling up 5 brokers and playing them against each other. They'll automatically take care of the neighbours.

  8. roflmao..such shit happens a lot in bangalore..

  9. cant believe i never chanced upon ur blog before!

    glad i did atleast now :)

  10. 'take care of the neighbours'?
    ...that sounded a little too Corleone. But then, that's probably not too far from the truth.

  11. Nice post, its a really cool blog that you have here, keep up the good work, will be back.

    Warm Regards

    Biby Cletus - Blog

  12. Don't you know that Indians are experts at focussing on everything except what's really important?

    You would, if you looked away from the Milan once in a while. Or Prateeksha. :)

  13. oooh, ooooh!
    Another injury-time winner.
    by another English club.
    against another Milan club.

    my sympathies. no, really.

  14. menon7:21 pm

    I may not have been rooting for milan on the night, but i'll say one thing: That Ricardo Izecson boy sure can play.
    It doesn't take anything special to make a fool of Heinze and Evra, but he did it ever so well. You just had to stand and applaud. And laugh.

  15. You don't need anything to make a fool out of Heinze and Evra.
    Cue the wild leap to get to a ball already going into the net (H).
    Cue the daft shirt-pulling to get a second yellow (E).
    Cue the kungfu-kick to drop H, allowing Kaka to get away and score his second (E).
    It was almost as slapstick as 'Allo 'Allo.

  16. Yeah, yeah, all that. Surprisingly I'm not as crushed as I expected to be. After all, it's amazing that a team on such bad form through he season made it to this far. Anyway, any team that plays Dida deserves every defeat it gets.

    (Damn if Kaka's weren't the sweetest goals, though.)

    I posted live reactions!

  17. menon1:59 pm

    i wanted milan to lose this time to repay me for all the hard times the bastards put me through. deportivo vs milan, champion's league semis some-year-or-the-other, milan win 4-1 at san siro, and lose 4-0 at the riazor.
    and i wanted them to win at istanbul. but that didn't happen, did it?

  18. That's Italian football for you. Gobsmackingly disappointing. Since that IS the trend, Rahul, keep hoping they lose this leg. :)

  19. You can't make up this stuff can you? (about the agent I mean).

    And I read your live comments! Gah..I thought Milan might just pull it off....

    Crappy few days sports wise. What with Aussie in the WC finals AGAIN! Bleh.

  20. I must say your agent has a brilliant sense of humour!

  21. Mmhmm. Obviously not something granted in abundance to yourself.

  22. ha ha...that was hilarious...

    in a couple of years, with your experiences with house hunting, you could probably write a book or something !