Tuesday, August 08, 2006

even caesar would watch this

Uma links to this news item on Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, which for those living under a rock or unexposed to Bollywood - but I repeat myself - is the years most eagerly-awaited film among non-resident Indians and lovers of big-budget Hindi "family drama". A new generation of Indians, born post-Independence, tempered by the loud, bad action films of the early nineties, disciplined by a hard and bitter diet of craptastication. I include myself in this generation, naturally. I usually hate on K-Jo (Uma's inspired nomenclature) films with vim - although this was not always the case, I loved him when I was fourteen, before I grew up and found out that girls have to lose at basketball before they can attract men, not but that I distance myself from basketball as a rule because, you know, soft-bellied lily of the valley - and vigour, all the more so because they have the raw material of decent cinema. Everything except the brains.

Anyway, so apparently this film is about infidelity? And honest relationships? And everyone has short names of not more than two syllables? What really caught my attention was the following line, though:
Dev (Shah Rukh) is a professional footballer...

At which my brain snagged and short-circuited because what else could Isheeta and I talk about?

Roswitha: imagine the italian football team in a yash chopra film.
Isheeta: this is too much fun, you know canna's totez item girl material. he'd steal the show.

Even the gist of the conversation is too mind-bogglingly silly (although I will recount that Isheeta mentioned sleeveless silk mini-kurtas and dupattas in conjunction with the mind-boggling pun, FabioIndia) to reproduce here, although I realise that in most circles I no longer have a reputation for sensibility to keep up anymore. But for the interested reader I will record that there were chiffons galore in our version of the K-Jo/Azzurri blockbuster, Calcio Ho Naa Ho*, and there were buff men putting along the streets of Rome on Vespas with their dupattas flying into other people's faces.

* son of Calcio Calcio Hota Hai and Kabhi Calcio Kabhie Gham.


  1. K-Jo - Uma's inspired nomenclature

    Aargh, I wish that was true. It was a newsmagazine that did it first, I think it was Outlook...

  2. Dev (Shah Rukh) is a professional footballer...?????? WHAT???!!!!!
    after the zizou headbutt this?? this is not a good year...why did johar have to hijack football!!!...
    talking of azzuri - im thinking of visiting Italy later this year =D
    as you can see i am excited.

  3. I saw it on preview. It was the usual glycerine covered schlock-fest. I am thinking of petitioning Hampstead town council to have Karan Johar evicted from the borough for crimes against cinema. Omkara was far more interesting and merit-worthy on every level and yet has about 10% of the distribution in the US and UK. Sucks.

  4. > Dev (Shah Rukh) is a professional footballer


    > soft-bellied lily of the valley


    And I loved the "rodent of negotiable affection" bit below :o)

    And how have you been? I'm back in Bombay (yeah that's how I spell it) for a long spell (I hope)

  5. hilarious post!
    also the caesar in the title refers to some Mallu alsatian and NOT someone who couldn't even watch his back.

    also, hold on to something while i break some shocking news to you:

    The World Cup. Is. Over.

  6. @ uma: well, at least you had the good taste to popularize it in the blogosphere.

    @ szerelem: but this is wonderful! where will you be going?

    @ bina: hey! i'm so amazed at your assessment of the film. i mean, who'd have thought?

    @ lakesidey: i'm afraid i'm coming down with chikungunya, but am well otherwise. how long is your spell in the well-spelt Bombay?

    @ vivek: bugger, are you suggesting i don't have a sense of proportion?

  7. :-)
    Dont want to bore you not to mention hijack your comment space. Thats a real danger when the topic is travel plans.
    Sorry for this, but blogged about it here

  8. @ vivek: bugger, are you suggesting i don't have a sense of proportion?

    more or less.

  9. Well, duh.

    (And football isn't restricted to the World Cup, you may be interested to learn. The league championships are all in various stages of getting underway.)

  10. Till I get a job....hopefully after taht as well, since I'm trying to get one in Bomaby :)