Thursday, March 23, 2006

ya rly!

Slate's this-speaks-for-itself piece on the witness document of one Dan Brown.

Brown resolved to become a writer when he read Sidney Sheldon's The Doomsday Conspiracy while vacationing in Tahiti. "Up until this point," he writes, "almost all of my reading had been dictated by my schooling (primarily classics like Faulkner, Steinbeck, Dostoyevsky, Shakespeare, etc.) and I'd read almost no commercial fiction at all since the Hardy Boys as a child." The Sheldon book was a revelation, swift and merciless where Shakespeare, etc., had been slow and cumbersome. "[L]ife seemed to be trying to tell me something," Brown notes[.]

Pulp novelist tells all. Well - that IS their job.

I wrought a humourless blog upon reading his opus many months ago.

eta: And an article in today's Guardian: Today's ultimate feminists are chicks in crop-tops. In which the author, making the stunningly original argument that, y'know, some chicks just want to be sex objects! proves, yet again, that stupidity is a universal enemy.

current musix: the beautiful south - don't marry her (fuck me).


  1. :))

    And I thought Anu Malik was unbeatable. I have tremendous respect for people who know they write crap (with all due subjectivity) yet can dish out "best-sellers". I had somehow placed Dan Brown somewhere there before this.

    Apparently the book caught on in India after our very own Shahrukh Khan claimed it to be his favourite, and declared plans for a movie on it (was it before Tom Hanks?).

    I was asked in an interview, "Do you read literature? And I don't mean Dan Brown.." :P

  2. Truly, the hours I spent dragging my sorry mind through the hideous swill that masqueraded as Dan Brown's novel represent both time and brain cells I'll never get back.

    I have a very hard time believing the man even heard of Shakespeare, let alone read him. Harumph.

  3. One again, could I appologise for the stupidity of my countryfolk.

    "Wear a thong if it makes you feel fab! The men in the office will spend the afternoon taking bets on if you are wearing underwear. Let them! Use that time to take over the company."

    Hmm. I can see problems with this career plan.

    My MD is a gay male.

    My Regional Manager is a heterosexual female.

    My project manager is also a heterosexual woman.

    My team leader is a gay woman who wears thongs herself so is not going to advance my career on their account.

    The worker who sits opposite me is a heterosexual woman who, if she thought I were not wearing underwear would pull me into a quiet corner and ask me gently if I forgot to do anything this morning.

    The worker who sits behind me is a heterosexual male who has a long term partner and is therefore aware that thongs leave no panty-line.

    I could go on, but you get the gist. Leaving it up to your underwear to carve out your future for you will leave you really in the shtuckey. Or with a career writing sex columns for crappy soft porn rags like GQ.

  4. So it's not just pure lack of talent, it's bad taste as well.


    Also, watch how control men with my breasts! See how empowered I am!

  5. @ prateek: How patronising of them! Dan Brown is literature. Just the slightly terrifying kind. :D

    @ miliana: You speak winged words! Somehow I'd be more inclined to forgive him if he hadn't heard of Shakespeare, though. Slow and cumbersome, it seems.

    @ em: Oh, my god. THANK YOU. You should be writing for the Guardian. I'm still wondering how in fuck they put that up - maybe it wsa a clever plant by the Daily Mail? also, what is a shtuckey? *loves you more each day *

    @ aishwarya: * personally enjoys the booby flapping, but gets your point, of course * :D